The more we give ourselves permission to be vulnerable when that is what presents itself, the softer we land, in ourselves and in life.
It can feel like a hard crash when we have had a hard time taking care of ourselves for a long time or have not been able or allowed ourselves to give ourselves the space we need.
What we can then experience is a sudden flood of vulnerability. Not being able to go on, being completely overwhelmed, a burn-out presenting itself,...
We all have the right to experience natural downs in our lives. Just like the seasons, this is part of the cycle of life.
When we feel very vulnerable or end up in a period (short or long) in which things do not feel so good or we feel lost, we often lose sight of the fact that there is gift within this experience.
Admittedly, it is not always easy to see this, especially when we are experiencing full-on sadness, anger, disappointment, despair, dominant negative thoughts, grief or something else. The gift, however, only becomes visible when we give ourselves permission to be vulnerable, and to honor our vulnerability.
You break open, as it were. The shell that instead of protecting you, holds you in a hardness, loses its power, and the true inner gold appears.
Your diversity, your humanity.
We are not programmed to always be cheerful. We can be programmed to think that we always have to be.
However, that does not help us. And it is not natural at all.
It also does not help us evolve, even though it may seem that it does.
Even though it sometimes seems that if we just push through or smile a little more or learn to ‘think more positively’, we will ‘move forward’.
Let us not ignore our humanity, that which makes us as beautiful as living beings.
Let us allow ourselves to live, and that also means experiencing the ebb and flow, and giving ourselves permission to flow with it. It makes our lives richer, and more authentic. More profound, and ultimately, healthier.
What can help us with this, is treating ourselves with love, understanding and compassion. The kinder we are to ourselves, the gentler we become towards all parts of ourselves. The more we accept ourselves, including the parts of ourselves that we sometimes prefer to think away.
Here are some examples.
We celebrate our successes by telling ourselves that we did this or that well. We invite help into our lives by embracing a kind gesture from someone else; for example, we say, “Thank you for telling me this,” or “I receive this.” We look at how hard we tried when something doesn’t go as we had hoped and affirm this to ourselves. We give ourselves all the opportunities we need to flourish because we say internally, “I am worth it.”
By adopting an attitude of self-love toward ourselves, we create an invisible environment for ourselves in which we can thrive, feel better, and be more loved. A new shell is created, a gentle shell that lovingly and healthily protects—not closes off or confines.
It requires a shift in the way we relate to ourselves.
And yes, we have the power to create this for ourselves, even if the outside world thinks differently or doesn’t understand us.
That’s okay, and there will always be at least a few people who look at you strangely when you pat yourself on the back.
Not everyone has to feel the same way.
But, if you want to create more gentleness for yourself, and allow yourself to be yourself in all your facets, that means that you will cultivate more love for yourself. This love will always be with you, and it will make your life easier in many different ways.
It also simplifies your relationships with others, your professional life, the way you experience your daily life and how you stand in life.
Would you like to give yourself permission to land softly when this is what you need? Are you going through a difficult time or feel stuck?
Do you feel like you are about to break or are you afraid of this? Are you curious about how you can create more self-love?
Book your free 20-minute session with me here.
Love,
Steffi
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